On the Road

I am currently reading Molly's blog while barreling down the Mass Pike at the speed of 65 miles per hour! (that's 105 kilometers per hour, for all you metric fans out there.) I'm on a bus that has the internet. I don't claim to understand magic or technology-- but I am certainly impressed. I mean, I'm on a BUS!

In Molly's post recent post ("Weekend"), she writes about how it's interesting to see what foreign people think about Americans, based on the topics they raise in conversation. Like Molly, I also enjoy the opportunity to "represent". About 2 weeks ago, I was sitting on a bench by the waterfront downtown-- somewhere between Battery Park and the Ikea Ferry terminal, when a 10-man trombone & trumpet ensemble from the Netherlands sat down to eat their lunch on the benches all around me & my friend Aliza. They were all over 6 ft tall, about 40 years old, and they were wearing matching outfits: striped canvas shirts (orange), jeans, and wooden clogs (also orange). They immediately started chatting with us.

In NY, I usually don't strike up casual conversations with the strangers around me. I think the prevailing assumption around here is that people want their privacy and/or consider their down-time too rare and valuable to squander on a conversation with a stranger they might not enjoy talking to. (I mean, a lot of people don't even have time to talk to their friends.)

But, these Dutch guys were asking all these questions, like: "Are you a millionaire?" (I was lounging around in a park in the middle of the day wearing a nice dress, so they thought I was independently wealthy-- rather than unemployed.) Even better was the question: "Do you believe in the American Dream?"

I said: "you mean like, come to America get an education, work hard and you can be a success?" And the guy was like, "What is I mean is, is it your goal to make as much money as possible?" (I was like, "I'm sitting on a bench at 1:30pm on a Tuesday-- what do you think?" Then, to clarify, I said, "No.")

I just spent 24 hours in Boston reuniting with friends at a storytelling event and now I'm on my way back to Brooklyn. I'm simultaneously blogging about Molly's blog and instant messaging with Molly.

Here is a scintillating excerpt from our conversation:

Molly: yo g

hows life?

me: hey moll!

Molly: blogspot sucks

me: life is good!

why?

Molly: they have no online support

Miss you, Molly! I'm glad we can have conversations like this even when you're on another continent.

Full Night's Sleep?

Tonight, I'm reading Molly's blog at 2am. I'm surprised at how well-rested I feel for someone who got a mere 8 hours of sleep last night (and 6 hours the night before!) Since adolescence I have vacillated wildly between being sleep-deprived and overcompensating for being sleep-deprived. For the last several years I've pulled all-nighters and replaced a full-night's sleep with a nap whenever necessary-- but ordinarily, I'd feel cheated if I didn't get at least 10 (at best 12) hours of sleep a night.

All these years I thought people were just being tough (and lying to themselves) when they said 8 hours was plenty. Now, here I am, unemployed, going to bed whenever I want and setting my alarm for 8 hours post-lights out-- whenever that might be. I'm getting up in the morning, doing stuff during the day, and going back to sleep for 8-hour stretches at night.

I feel like I'm inventing these cultural norms!

From what I'm reading in Molly's latest posts, it sounds like Molly's making some discoveries herself. Biking to the coast, couch surfing, wow it's 2:32am.

More about Molly's blog later. I suddenly feel an overwhelming urge to be unconscious for 8 hours.

(It's not your blog that's putting me to sleep, Molly-- although I hope I'll dream about the place where the forest meets the sea! The gleam of your handlebars in the sun, the city lights of Roskilde, the fjords at night...)

Toilet Humor Without the Toilet

Today, I'm reading Molly's blog at a coffeeshop in my neighborhood called The Tiny Cup, which incidentally has the worst smelling bathroom I've ever been in. A bold statement, I know. But the strange part is-- it doesn't smell bad in the obvious ways that bathrooms usually smell bad. It doesn't reek of urine or feces-- or even the chemical fumes of an overpowering cleaning product. In fact, the source of the smell is far more mysterious. It's a smell within a smell within a smell. And it's the Russian nesting doll-mystery of this stench-- like the sour odor of a fat man's armpit in a wool coat in an overheated elevator-- it's the terrible mystery of the smell that makes this bathroom the worst smelling bathroom I've ever been in.

The Tiny Cup has great coffee and a great atmosphere for writing-- so I come here a lot. And I drink a lot of coffee when I come here. And I stay for a long time, especially while I'm doing my laundry(finally!). So, I visit The Worst Smelling Bathroom I've Ever Been In... a lot.

Molly's latest post ("Why is pee so funny?") raises an excellent question. Why IS it so funny when somebody unexpectedly pees all over the place?

A few days ago I was waiting for the A train with my friend Aliza, and we saw a 3 year-old boy with his pants around his ankles, peeing into a plastic cup with the help of his father. It was a classic no-bathroom-available emergency, and I felt bad for the poor guy who was responsible for the makeshift, hand-held urinal. I imagined myself in the same situation-- one hand around the kid's elbow to hold him steady, the other hand around a plastic cup, slowly filling up with hot urine. Poor guy.

And then suddenly, the kid's stream of urine shot up into the air like a fountain! The kid peed all over his dad!

In a flash, my grim sympathy for the father broke apart-- and I was just laughing hysterically. I didn't even care that the guy knew I was laughing at him.

Why is pee so funny? Good question, Molly.

I guess the humor must have something to do with the taboo of peeing in public. It's funny when little kids do it, because they're totally unashamed!

As for the adults in Western society, peeing in the privacy of the bathroom is one of those rare things that most of us can agree on most of the time. Sure, people like to pee outside once in a while-- just last night at 3am, my mildly drunk companion enjoyed peeing in the gutter about a 100 yards from the Williamsburg loft where we were partying. But getting drunk at a party and peeing on the occasional sidewalk is just one of those classic pairings of social pleasures-- like having the occasional cigarette when you go out drinking. Most of us can agree that it's OK to pee in the gutter from time to time. (Who does it hurt?) Even so, I would say our general appreciation of hygiene and privacy makes indoor plumbing one of the most popular amenities of our time!

I guess "toilet humor" is a euphemism. But how great is it that you can use toilet humor without even a casual reference to the toilet itself?

What hilarity do you have in store for us tomorrow, Molly?

The First Day

Welcome to the first day of reading my sister's blog!

As most of you probably know, Molly recently started a blog about living abroad as an au pair in Denmark. She's worried that it's self-indulgent to write a blog about her day-to-day experiences, but I've read it and trust me, it isn't self indulgent.

Check it out if you haven't already: http://mollymwe.blogspot.com

Molly has been in Denmark for 12 days now. For those of you who have been too busy to read her blog-- let me catch you up: She arrived in Denmark on September 1st and was pleased to meet her new family. She has three Danish children, a Danish mom and a Danish dad. People in Denmark are clean, laid back, and they don't sue each other. They eat bagels with lox and drink expensive coffee. Trains are cheap, museums are free, and bicycles are rampant. Molly doesn't have the cord to upload photos from her digital camera to her computer, so she can't offer us proof of how cool everything looks-- For now, we'll have to take her word for it. The children in Denmark are cute, which earns them points-- but they don't speak English. So, they lose a few points there. Molly has plans to enroll in a language class to learn Danish, and in the meantime, she will use her blond hair, blue eyes, and nodding/smiling abilities to blend in and give the impression she knows what's going on around her.

I know, I know. This blog isn't supposed to be a rehash of Molly's au pair blog-- it's supposed to be about my own personal experience as a reader of Molly's au pair blog.

So, you probably want to know what I'm wearing. Well, it's laundry day and I don't have any clean clothes, so I'm wearing my least favorite long-sleeved shirt over my least favorite tank top and a non-descript skirt over my least favorite pair of underwear. I haven't actually gotten started sorting my clothes or taking them to the laundromat-- but I don't have any clean underwear left-- so that's how I know it's laundry day.

On September 8th, Molly asked if anyone had ideas for a long-term project or activity that could keep her occupied during the day while the kids are at school.

So, I brought my laptop into the kitchen where my roommate Sharona was rearranging the spices and dry goods in our pantry and I asked her to help me brainstorm some ideas for Molly. Here are a few things we came up with to keep Molly entertained & busy in her off-hours:

-begin an advice column
-write a letter to a different famous person you admire every day for a week and see who writes back
-make a list of 100 things you like
-undertake an art project from Miranda July's list of creative assignments: http://www.learningtoloveyoumore.com/
-read every book Art Garfunkel has read since 1968-- for the full list of books in the order in which they were read, check out his website: http://www.artgarfunkel.com/favorites.html
-swap skills with somebody in Faxe or a neighboring town: pick something you want to learn-- how to play piano, how to build a chair, how to repair a bicycle, how to bake bread-- then, make a list of all the things YOU know how to do and advertise with a flier or online.
-take a dance class
-cruise online dating sites: http://mingle2.com/countries/65/denmark

Well, Sharona is making me a snack, so I better go.

Don't worry, Molly, and all you readers out there: I will be checking Molly's blog regularly and you can be sure I will give you the full report.